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I posted this poem on a fansite.  I posted some other silly ones but I kinda' liked this one and I was in an . . . angsty place when I wrote it.  Inspired by a character named "Dean" on a show called "Supernatural."  Just some musings but I thought I'd post it here just so I could find it if I ever went looking for it ('cause Lord knows I've made a whole mess of posts on that fansite and other sites and this would eventually have been impossible to find).


I sit at my window watching for him,
On his quest to fight the good fight,
My heart aching and filled to the brim,
Worried that death will find him this night.

Is he thinking of me I wonder aloud,
Hungering for me, needing my touch?
He hides his feelings because he is so proud,
I need to know if he wants me as much.

I hear the engine roar as he pulls in the drive
That powerful impala that suits him so well.
My heart soars as returns once more alive
The thought of his loss an agonizing hell.

He's now at the door and I hear the sreen bang
His shoes on the floorboards coming my way
But what is that noise, that metallic clang?
I peer out my window in the light of new day.

Movement in the back seat, What? I wonder.
He is now at my bedroom door smiling at me.
I forget the backseat as my heart begins to thunder
And he pulls off my nightgown and sets me free.

As the sun rises shedding light in the room
He smiles his "Dean" smile but . . . not the same.
Something is wrong and I begin to feel doom
His smile changes as if this were a game.

How strange, I think, that silvery gleam,
How different his eyes are, not his at all.
I don't understand this horrible dream -
This nightmare as the knife begins to fall.

Shapeshifter my mind whispers, too late.
Stealing my love to torture him with
Dean in the backseat, awaiting his fate,
While I fight with this creature of myth.

I struggle and wrestle with all of my strength
Thinking of my lover with my very last thought
Losing my desparate struggle at long length
Losing this final battle I have fought.

I hear glass break and I know he is coming
Trying to save me, to stop another loss
Too late to save me, valiantly running
Slipping on grass laden with frost.

What will this do to my brave dear love
Will this be the blow that will crush his soul?
I send a frantic plea to the heavens above
Healing his heart is my only goal.

Please let him love again and be without blame
Oh! Better not to know him, to leave him this way
I beg - Let him not even remember my name!
He can't suffer this loss, this terrible price to pay!

As I grow weak and my soul starts to rise
I feel my wish granted, he will be at peace.
He enters and fights as my body slowly dies
Above his green eyes I see his brow crease.

The shifter is gone, my lover survives,
He holds me gently as I breathe my last breath
My body shudders as he pulls out the knives
But I realize he won't suffer from my death.

He doesn't know me, I'm no one to him.
Just another victim that he failed to save.
I realize I was foolish as my eyes start to dim,
Taking the love that he continues to crave.

No sense of belonging, no love of his own
He's alone once more with no memory
Cradling this body he has now never known
He's filled with unknown loss as he cradles me.

My love gave him strength to continue this fight,
Now not even a memory to give him hope
His exhausted soul too heavy this night,
He returns to the car in an exhausted lope.

The police will arrive soon and he must be gone,
But then he sits and waits, too soul weary to drive
The car sitting there at the edge of the lawn
Something, he thinks, just doesn't jive.

I know her, he thinks, I know her here
He clutches his chest, he clutches his heart.
I know that once held her so dear
I know we wanted never to part.

Who was she, he wonders, this piece of my soul
I must continue to fight and I will remember my love
In this battle I must continue my role
But I will remember my darling lost dove.

Why was her memory taken from me?
What evil spell adds additional loss?
He nudges the gear shift with his knee
And notices from the key chain a dangling cross.

She gave this to me - he thinks in wonder,
To keep my strong in soul, in spirit
He grips the cross as his heart starts to thunder
He feels my soul touch him and does not fear it.

My fault, my soul cries, to spare you pain
I love you my hero but you must flee
The police will arrive, the sirens near wane
The flashing light you soon will see.

Flee my darling to continue this battle
My soul will guard you in your quest
Freeing souls used by demons as cattle
Sending these spirits to their final rest.

He starts the impala and smiles his Dean smile,
A warmth in his heart despite the evening
He knows he will be fine, I'll remain for a while
And he knows I go with him as the impala is leaving.


The End?